Is your world dominated by radiators or drains? And I am not talking about the plumbing in your house... A few years back we witnessed 'new' management speak that categorised people into being a part of two groups - "radiators" or "drains" - Radiators, those who are up for everything and Drains, those who seem to exist merely to suck the life out of any situation. In the following article Laura Evens explores how the radiators and drains in our lives can affect our motivation (and a clever dude called Shane Warren made some good comments)...
Many people are in the search of more motivation. Unfortunately it isn’t a thing, pill, or object you can simply pick up and use. However, the good news is that you can affect and influence your motivation (as can others if you let them). Richard Bandler says that to have motivation, you have to have a clear goal, something you’re aiming for. The very nature that you have a goal or a target means it must be something that you want to achieve (otherwise there would be no goal, desired outcome or intention do complete it).
Is it important enough?- if so, take responsibility & take Action!
OK, so I hear yo saying, yeah, yeah, yeah Laura … I have a goal Laura, but no motivation to achieve it. Firstly, we need to look at this goal of yours ….
Is it the right goal?
Is it compelling enough for you?
Does it have a big enough ‘why’ or reason to achieve it?
What will achieving the goal get for you?
What are the consequences of not achieving it?
Are their other ‘methods’ that you could use to achieve the desired outcome?
How badly do I you really want it? – if the answer is I’m not really that bothered, my advice is go and focus on something else!
If something really is important to you, you need to take responsibility, you need to do something, take some action! Tad James created the 5 Principles for Success and in there issays to be successful you need to (1) know what you want and (2) take action! He goes on to say that you need to know if what you’re doing is working, and guess what if it’s not, he says be flexible and find another way to get your goal.
External Motivation: ‘Drains’ or a ‘Radiators’??
I was reminded this week of a Managing Director I worked with in the early part of my career. I remember us chatting one day about motivation and how others can impact on our motivation and energy level, if we let them. It's a conscious choice you have to take. He said to me that in life, there are two types of people, Radiators and Drains!
‘Radiators’ are people who radiate energy, positivity and who spur us on. ‘Drains’ on the other than drain us of energy, motivation and zap our pizzazz! If you want others to help spur you on, you need to hang out with ‘Radiators’ and limit time as much as possible with the ‘Drains’. A lot of people complain of being tired all the time and not having the energy to do the things they love. Well, metaphorically if you’ve been pouring your energy into relationships, businesses or workplaces full of ‘Drains’ you’ll have nothing left for you, your family and the achievement of your goals and dreams.
Aby Moore from YouBabyMeMummy has some tips on how to spot the drains from what she has learned over the years. “They are overly negative, self-absorbed. They’re more prone to gossip and drama than adding anything helpful to the world. The next step would be to not get drawn in”
Speaking from a resilient psychology perspective, Shane Warren notes "I think we all have a bit of both radiator and drain within us, but lifetime programming has created one to be the dominate voice in our heads. Don’t stress we all have voices in our heads, it's how we explain the world around us… what we need to look at though is what are those messages we are telling ourselves and how well do they work in the moment. So, ask yourself is this a time for caution and bit of focus on the negative here, or is this a time to let ourselves run free and just go with what is happening in full excitement and enthusiasm?"
If you do indeed, find yourself being a ‘drain’ then look yourself in the mirror and question how you’ve allowed that to happen and more importantly take responsibility and decide what are you going to do to change it? – what could you do to re-energise yourself and find your mojo!
Get Motivated: take responsibility and ask your ‘Radiators’ to help you!
Assuming you are focused on a goal that is important to you (see above) and that you are willing to take responsibility, then find your ‘radiators’ and spend time with them! Find one of them who you would NEVER break a promise to and tell them about your goal and over a cuppa chat about what you can do to achieve it. Feed off their positivity, their can-do attitude and their desire to help you. Agree some actions, promise them what you’re going to do (because you’d never break a promise to them!) and GO DO IT!!!